So you’ve jumped in but it seems like carnivore isn’t working.
Now what?
My first piece of advice…stop.
I don’t mean stop carnivore! You’re not getting off that easy!
I mean stop comparing yourself to other people. Especially stop comparing yourself to those who are younger, fitter, have less to heal, and who have been doing this way longer than you.
What To Do Instead
Let’s think about this logically. Carnivore truly is the proper human diet. There’s just too much scientific and anecdotal evidence to ignore. Carnivore, in any form, is far superior to any standard dietary guidelines. The exact right way to carnivore for you specifically may be different than it is for your favorite carnivore expert or influencer.
This is no fad. Rather the information is being shared with greater ease thanks to the internet and social media, making that information more easily accessible. Sadly, that means it can also get a little confusing with so many versions and opinions out there.
I’ll Keep Saying It Until You Hear Me
Bioindividuality matters. You’ll often hear some carnivores say that all we need to do is eat fatty meat and drink water. Simple. How I wish that were true for me. See, I’m a complicated being. Just ask my family. This was #1 on my list of 5 Things I Learned as a Carnivore. “Just eat meat” is as frustrating as the old standard “eat less and move more” for those of us with significant damage that we need to heal.
On the flip side, to say that carnivore doesn’t work is like throwing up your hands and abandoning your home because a lightbulb burned out. That’s ridiculous. Of course it works. You just can’t force your body to do what it’s not ready to do. You can’t do what someone half your age is doing. You can’t heal decades of damage in 90 days.
Healing Factors
If you’re older, it’s going to take longer.
If you have a lot to heal, it’s going to take longer.
Don’t compare yourself to a 20-something with a few years of damage if you’re over 40 and/or have several years or a lifetime of damage to heal.
You also simply cannot compare yourself to someone who started carnivore several years ago or who didn’t have as many years of damage or severity of illness.
Think about this. If a 5-year-old falls and scrapes a knee, and you fall and break a hip, who will heal faster?
Or this: if you fall down the stairs at age 40 but have no health issues and lean muscle mass, and your 40-year-old friend falls down the stairs but has brittle bones, little muscle, and inflammation, who’s going to heal faster?
Unfair Comparison
The only person you can compare yourself to is the version of you prior to starting carnivore. And if you’ve been eating this way for less than 6 months, don’t even compare yourself to yourself!
Your body will prioritize healing and we can’t always observe that in the mirror or on the scale. You may also lose some weight if that is your goal. But if you stall, or if it’s not happening as quickly as you want, you may need to change some ratios, and look at your calorie intake to make sure you are eating enough and getting enough fat and protein. What you can’t do is simply give up and walk away from a future healthy you that you just can’t see yet. Give it time. Take note of every improvement.
Keep the faith, my friend. You are loved and you are worth the work and time it will take to get there.
An often overlooked benefit of the carnivore diet is dramatic improvement in mental health. We carnivores know this to be true, but most people don’t come to this way of eating for that specific benefit. Some do, but most are looking for physical changes and/or healing some medical issues. What brought me to carnivore? A couple of things: disordered eating, weight, autoimmune disorders, food addiction, and just being really fucking sick and tired of counting and tracking every damn thing I put in my mouth. But wait, there’s more…
Cleaning out my home office today, I came across a notebook that I had used for many different things. As I flipped through the pages to see if anything important jumped out at me, I noticed I had scribbled some thoughts onto a couple of pages at some point in the last year or two. Maybe three. There are two entries that caught my eye – and both of them completely shattered my heart. I cried for the woman who wrote those thoughts. The version of me who wrote these things is still here, but she has healed so much since then.
One entry was probably written within the last six to twelve months. It’s a whole blog entry all on its own, so I won’t share it here. It’s very similar to my first blog post CARNIVORE MISSION: FOOD ADDICTION AND RESTRICTION, WITH A DASH OF HASHIMOTO’S AND A SIDE OF SHAME. Food addiction, as I write about often, is cruel and sinister. You need food to live, you can’t just avoid it. That causes a whole other issue. I’ve gone that route, too. I’m better now – thanks to carnivore. I will take each day as it comes, but I have zero desire to ever take that ride again.
Masking Personality
The other entry I found, is in regard to something I am still struggling with. But I am so much better than I was when I wrote this:
“It’s exhausting. Being the person people expect you to be. It’s a lie. Every time I flip the switch it drains my soul. I WANT to be that person – that happy, fun, bubbly person. That person who makes a connection with everyone I meet. Maybe I am that person, somehow, somewhere deep, DEEP inside. But the chains, the weight of not being able to act what I feel, to look how I feel when I want to shut out the world. Sleep. Think. Dream. Plan. Heal. Then maybe I could be that person. But for now, the pretending, on-off, on-off, on-off… it’s torture.”
Masking, in my case, has been a way for me to cope with anxiety and depression. I crave friendships and connection but the thought of social situations crippled me. Holidays with extended family was excruciating for me. I dreaded them from the moment the invitation was extended. Smile, converse, look amused, know you’re being judged but pretend you don’t. Or maybe that part was just in my head. Working with the public was exhausting. Smile and greet people, validate them whether they are right or wrong, pander to them because they might be well-connected. I was always completely exhausted. I’ve done this all my life. But get ready, because the mask is about to come off!
Don’t be scared, it’s not as bad as it sounds.
Unmasking
Trauma gets buried under expectations and layered under the day to day. The pain, ailments, work, family, obligations pile up, covering the initial major trauma(s) and we forget it’s there. Too busy to deal and heal. But your body remembers and acts out in ways we cannot ignore. Once we begin trying to heal the physical problems we have created for ourselves, heal the very cells and nourish each one of them so that we can be whole again, those deeper traumas may be revealed and demand to be dealt with.
Through that healing, I’ve discovered a lot about myself and still am discovering more. I’m recognizing my past traumas, naming them, and releasing them. There is no room for them in my life anymore. I’m removing all things from my life that do not serve me in a positive way – including my government job. That is the place where I have had to mask the most. Even though I now feel I am me again, completely authentic. That authenticity is happiness now and I no longer feel like I’m flipping a switch. I have room for joy. My mind is healing along with my body.
How Does the Carnivore Diet Heal?
A carnivore diet means eating only animal products. So many complex things happen in your body in reaction to what you consume, apply, and inject. Yet, it really is very simple. I think of it this way: we are what we eat. Humans are animals. Humans are not plants, we did not sprout up from the ground. We are not manufactured or made up of lab-produced chemicals. Human cells require replenishment with the correct building blocks. We need to replace animal protein with animal protein. You can’t rebuild a brick house with cardboard boxes or sugar cubes and expect the same stable structure. This seems like common sense to me.
Once your cells are healthy and functioning properly, after all of the clutter that is unusable material is removed from your body, you start to think and process more clearly. When your body and your cells are working congruently, your mind can finally deal with everything it needs to deal with – swiftly and clearly.
Me, Revealed
I am very happy to report, that I am actually a very happy person. I’m removing the mask, bit by bit, and I’m finding that I AM that happy, friendly person. I wouldn’t go as far as saying I’m a ‘people person’, and I still get anxious about social gatherings. but it’s getting easier. It’s not a tremendous effort anymore. I’ve found that the ‘on switch’ is the real me. The off switch was my very sick body attempting to recuperate from any effort I put out and the buried trauma that I had not dealt with properly. I still get tired after a particularly people-y day, but I have the tools to refuel and not shut down at 5pm. I gained the strength to leave my job so that I can earn a certification to become a health coach, and focus on helping others heal so they, too, can live a joyful life.
From around 230lbs trying to diet like a normal person, to low-carb/keto, to carnivore in 2020.
In the previous entry, I gave a life-long, chronological timeline of my history with food. I want to take small snapshots of each stage and give a little more detail into each. Now this goes against my nature to do this out of order, but I think my most recent experiences are probably why you’re here.
So did I just decide one day that I would only eat meat? No. But also, yes.
Did I get those results pictured above by being a carnivore? No. But also, yes.
Lemme ‘splain.
In the photo on the left, I was roughly 230lbs. I don’t have any photos of myself at my highest weight and I don’t even know for sure what that number was. Probably somewhere around 250lbs. I didn’t have a scale or a full-length mirror. Just a ravenous appetite, undiagnosed Hashimoto’s, and severe mental and emotional trauma. Though I had tried “dieting” like I did in the days of my anorexia and bulimia, my addiction to food and the damage to my metabolism held my weight hostage.
Paleo
Somewhere around 2013 – 2014, when I had put my youngest daughter on a gluten-free diet for her Hashimoto’s diagnosis, things started to click. I learned, partly due to the enormous cost of gluten-free versions of foods she loved, that maybe we are all better off with just whole, one-ingredient foods. That lead me to paleo. The paleo diet is basically eating only things that existed in paleolithic times. Omitting sugar and processed food and adding some high quality vitamins made such an enormous difference in my life. But I still had a lot of Hashimoto’s symptoms, so my research continued.
Weight-management Drugs
In addition to Synthroid (I’m not convinced really does much as it doesn’t treat the root cause) my endocrinologist prescribed a medication called Contrave, which was a fantastic tool to help me control that impulse to eat everything in sight. It was a miracle, at the time. On paleo, I still had intense cravings and would slip up quite often. But this new medication helped control that. I was truly amazed that I could see donuts from my desk at work and have very little to no urge to eat them. Before this medication, I would have inhaled at least one before I even realized I had left my desk. Food addiction is truly like being possessed. Your brain is on autopilot when it comes to food and yet you need food to live. It’s not like you can avoid food and people who eat. That’s not how this works.
Low-Carb
Around that time, I was also looking at low-carb diets and thinking this may be even better. It was! One of the symptoms of Hashimoto’s for me was brain fog. Now I’m not talking about brain fog as in being a little forgetful, why did I walk into this room, did I take my vitamins. I’m talking about a fog so thick I would forget what I was saying mid-sentence, completely stop talking, and have no idea why the other person is looking at me like they thought I might be having a stroke. Low carb almost completely fixed that!! I knew I was really on to something then.
As for the weight loss, low carb made a dramatic difference in that as well. But I have to admit, it was a whole combination of things that lead me to the 140lb photo above.
1. Low-carb diet
2. Contrave weight-management medication
3. Lifting weights and working out 3 – 4 times per week
4. Consuming less than 1300 calories per day
Would I recommend this combination? Knowing what I know now? No fucking way.
It is not sustainable. Low carb? Fine, do that. Contrave? At $120 per month? Nope. Lifting weights and working out 3 – 4 times per week? Yeah, why not if you have the time? Might be a bit excessive, but it doesn’t hurt either. Calorie restricting? A resounding fuck that. That, my friends, that eat-less-move-more advice is so very damaging! That is disordered eating. Were our ancestors sitting around trying to figure out how many calories they had left in a day? No! Did they eat like crazy every chance they got? Uh, yeah, they did!
So why and how does this work? It doesn’t make sense based on everything we have been taught, right? That’s an explanation for another post. But here’s a hint: your body is hoarding the nutrient-void calories you have consumed and storing them as fat because you’re starving it and it doesn’t know what to do with the garbage you’re throwing down your throat like it’s a living dumpster. Man-made “food” is not fit for human consumption.
Keto – Ketovore – Carnivore
For the last year+, maybe almost two years, I have been eating carnovire-ish. Meaning I had some slips, I used keto-approved sweeteners, some keto treats now and then, some veggies here and there. That was only making things more difficult as far as my addiction to sweet tastes. While I was mostly meat-based, or ‘ketovore’ (keto-carnivore), and I wasn’t eating sugar, the overly processed keto treats (curse you, Rebel Ice Cream!!), even those I made at home, only brought back that intense desire for more. It was best, for me, to eliminate anything and everything that did not come from an animal in its singular form, or at least as close as possible to it.
Counting calories was exhausting and contributing to my tendency for obsessive behavior, too. So that practice had to go as well. Just. Eat. Meat. ALL the meats! No counting, no obsessing, no addiction. Just meat. And eggs and butter, of course.
Today, three months into eating only animal products, as much as I can possibly fit into my stomach, I’m weighing in around 165lbs. And I am way ok with that. I know it will come off again when my body is finished healing. I’m stockpiling nutrition, healing my hormones, and feeling un-fucking-stoppable. Assertive. Confident. Powerful.
How do I know I’m healing?
My mood and my energy are borderline obnoxious – but in a really good way!
My ‘beard’ doesn’t grow in within hours of shaving anymore. For context – I have hirsutism, which means I have a hormone imbalance that causes whisker-like hairs on my chin, jawline, and upper lip. This is typically due to PCOS, adrenal imbalance, or insulin resistance.
I have about 2″ of gray roots and I don’t care – not because I’ve given up, but because I’ve realized that how I feel both physically and mentally are far more important than someone else’s idea of what’s attractive. I feel GOOD, I feel I look good, and I accept myself as I am in this moment. Will I ever dye my hair again? Maybe. But I’m not really concerned about that right now.
I’m actually not really concerned about anything. Again, not because I’ve given up, but because my mental and emotional response has evolved. I have a better perspective now that my mood is better regulated.
No longer taking Contrave – I had to stop when I had shoulder surgery. And let me tell you I healed SO quickly! How?
Less inflammation, that’s how!
Zero carb cravings, zero sugar cravings, increased mental clarity and focus, better sleep…..
This is just the beginning! It took nearly 50 years for me to get to this point. There is no sustainable quick fix for my health. And again, I’m feeling better than I have EVER felt! This is the long game – healing. Stop dieting because you hate yourself and start eating because you love yourself. Your body is made of fat and protein, so give it the building blocks it needs.
