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Food Addiction: Abstainer vs Moderator

food addiction abstainer vs moderator

Food addiction….is and always will be a bitch. 

You must eat to live so you can’t just simply not eat in the same way an alcoholic or drug addict would avoid situations that include drugs or alcohol. My original post on that can be found HERE

Why Food Addiction Matters

So in abstaining vs moderating, I’m referring to specific foods that trigger binge eating. No one, in my experience, has an issue with binging on celery or chicken breast. The problem occurs in those processed foods, sugar, and high-carb foods. These foods are designed to ‘light up’ the same part of our brains that causes substance addiction, sex addiction, gambling, and other behaviors that consume us and disrupt our lives. When food is an addiction, it interferes with our health, causes chronic diseases, and contributes to mental decline. While it might not sound like a big deal to be addicted to sweets – it seems harmless to some – those foods are causing our quality of life to spiral out of control, keeping us sick and dependent on pharmaceutical symptom management. 

Abstainers vs Moderators

Something I heard this week really resonated with me. I wish I could give credit to the person who said it, but I’m drawing a blank. Maybe Amy Bellinger? Emily Penton? I feel like it was one of those two lovely ladies. Anyway… ‘Addicts must be abstainers’.

Addicts MUST be abstainers. I believe this to be true of any addict, no matter the substance or source of addiction. Getting to the point of abstinence, however, may look different from person to person. Some addicts, or some addictions, can take a quit-it-an-forget-it approach. Rip off that bandaid and carry on. That can cause more severe adaptation or withdrawal symptoms, but the goal is typically accomplished more quickly. Others may require a step-down approach. This may drag out the process, but adaptation or withdrawal may be less severe and therefore more easily managed. In either approach, the goal and hopefully the result is the same.

Abstaining is Key for Most Addicts

Choosing which method is best for the addict is very personal and requires a great deal of being honest with themselves. My own battle with food addiction is ongoing. It’s been years in the making. I can confidently say my sugar and carb addiction is in remission at this point. Yet I still use food for comfort and that is hindering my progress to some degree. Am I still healing inside? I have no idea. I think so.

So while I do still ‘stress eat’ from time to time, I do not consume sugar or carbs and I do not eat with obsessive, uncontrollable action. I simply eat when I’m not truly hungry. It’s a problem and I’m still working on that. I believe I know what caused it but I’ll leave that for another time. I’m angry with those who suggested a specific practice without knowing my personal issues and angry with myself for thinking I could expect a different result. This is why there should be no specific program for everyone to follow. It’s dangerous and irresponsible. Unethical, even. 

Anyway, my point is that any program should be highly individualized, especially where addiction is involved. 

What About Moderation?

What about the moderation aspect? I don’t think this is possible for an addict. Maybe you have heard of an alcoholic who can just have a drink on special occasions without going on a bender, but I haven’t. Perhaps you know of a drug addict who can partake now and then without spiraling, but I don’t. 

If there is a substance or activity, even if you feel it’s healthy, but it consumes you…I’m sorry to say but that is an addiction. So this applies to anything that has become a source of comfort or a coping mechanism, but it harms you either immediately or in the long run, it’s an addiction. 

Comfort or Self-Sabotage?

If it brings you comfort but it’s contributing to your illness or hindering your progress, is that really comfort? Or is it self-sabotage? Moderating, or attempting to be a moderator, is not helping your progress. So, no. I do not believe in moderation when it comes to addictive behaviors. It doesn’t matter if that behavior is binging on donuts, running, smoking, or any other addiction. 

I know in my heart and soul I cannot ever have cake and ice cream. It will open up an old wound that I have worked far too hard for far too long to heal. It will not serve me in a positive way and I only have room for good and positive in my life. I will not go backward for a few moments of perceived bliss that will potentially drag me back to the hell that was my miserable failing health. Dramatic? Nope. Not at all. Food addiction is real and it ruins lives. 

Help is Here!

If you need help, please feel free to reach out. I can point you in the right direction or I can coach you one-on-one.

In the meantime, I wish you all the good things!

XOXO

The Candid Carnivore

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Change is Self Love???

Something I recently saw on TikTok really got me thinking. A creator with followers in the millions said something that I felt was really irresponsible. It was disappointing to me. I’ve seen a few creators and influencers post content to this effect recently. A new movement, maybe? I think it’s dangerous.

I guess I get where they are coming from. We should never hate ourselves or hate our bodies. But changing yourself and loving yourself are not mutually exclusive. Sometimes changing IS self-love. In fact it should always be about loving yourself, especially when it comes to mental and physical health. Change should never be to fit someone else’s ideal. It shouldn’t be about punishing yourself, trying to look like someone else or fitting into a certain size.

Words Have Consequences

This creator advised people to ‘just eat the chocolate bunny’, and ‘it’s just food’. She alluded to her own struggles in the past and her relationship to food. Knowing that made what she said even more confusing for me for a few reasons. Maybe she doesn’t know what I know, and definitely doesn’t know me and my struggles. Obviously she isn’t creating content solely for me, and that advice may work for some people. I’m not so self-absorbed to think that my opinion of her post matters to her in the slightest. Actually, I hope it doesn’t because that would be devastating and detrimental to her brilliant creativity. I love most of her content, she’s truly gifted. But I can’t help the way I feel about this specific topic because it is so close to me.

I’m happy for her that she can look at food that way. But so many of us cannot. Not ever. If I were to follow that advice, it would be the start of a downward spiral and the loss of all I have accomplished over the last 15 months. Not realizing that there are a lot of us who have sugar addiction, carb addiction, food addiction, isn’t her fault. But I am here to completely oppose that advice. DROP THE BUNNY AND STEP AWAY. Don’t do it! It is not worth it. Don’t derail your progress in your healing mission. Now if you can eat the bunny and jump right back on track – BRAVO!! I envy and admire you! It does not undo or negate everything you have done so far. Not in the least! But if it’s going to cause you to spiral, or if there is the slightest chance you’ll feel like garbage physically or awaken that addiction… Just. Don’t. Do. It. It doesn’t mean you don’t love yourself. It’s the opposite! Not putting garbage into your body is not deprivation or loathing. It is honor and love.

When Food Isn’t Just Food

The other problem I have with her statement is that idea that ‘it’s just food’. It’s not. It’s a drug. But even more importantly, it’s not actual food! If there are ingredients you can’t easily identify, then it is not food and not fuel. Why would you do that to yourself? Because it tastes good for a few moments? In the throws of addiction, we don’t think about that. Once you wake up and address your addiction it’s a totally different mindset.

Living in Healthy Healing Harmony

While I’m not where I want to be physically, I don’t hate where I am now. I am proud of my progress and finally living in healthy healing harmony with my body. This is not about changing because I hate myself. Really it’s because I love my life and want to enjoy every minute of it, not being consumed with addiction and ailments. I’m not punishing my body for not being what I want it to be. I’m listening to my body and honoring it as it is. I have a vision and goals, yes. However, I’m confident where I am and that took a LOT of healing. Being confident in your skin at any size is wonderful. Complacency, however, if you are unhealthy is not safe.

Triggered by a TikTok Star

I understand the sentiment, but the words chosen to express that idea were irresponsible in my opinion. If you are not an alcoholic, but have decided to just cut back on drinking and tell others to just go ahead and have the beer, take the shot, indulge and don’t feel guilty, just as a general statement of self love and acceptance completely jeopardizes the wellbeing of those who see that message and are alcoholics. If you would never say those words knowing an alcoholic’s recovery may be hampered by your words, then you must acknowledge that there are other addictions that are just as valid in the effect they have on people as well. I am 100% positive, no harm was meant by her words. They still haunt me. Yep, I’m TRIGGERED. This person whose content I enjoy, who seems so loving and who is using her platform to ensure she is doing all she can to put positivity into the world is not in any way responsible for my weakness.

That self-sabotaging bitch in my head though, she’s trying real hard to justify what she heard.

Stay Focused

So how do you stay focused, or re-focus, when you’re battling that voice in your head? Dive deep, my friend. Immerse yourself in all healing things. Whatever it takes to get yourself right. Read, or listen to helpful and positive topics from AudiobooksNow. Join an online community like The Steak and Butter Gang, where you can connect with others, listen to their struggles and their victories here https://sbg-s-meat-up.mn.co/share/KqFp3vyXjBT6w81T?utm_source=manual. Or feel free to reach out to me here, or on Instagram here https://www.instagram.com/thecandidcarnivore/. I’d be happy to offer support.

Thank you for your support and your time. I hope my content supports and inspires you – and maybe makes you laugh sometimes.

xoxo

~ The Candid Carnivore