Something I recently saw on TikTok really got me thinking. A creator with followers in the millions said something that I felt was really irresponsible. It was disappointing to me. I’ve seen a few creators and influencers post content to this effect recently. A new movement, maybe? I think it’s dangerous.
I guess I get where they are coming from. We should never hate ourselves or hate our bodies. But changing yourself and loving yourself are not mutually exclusive. Sometimes changing IS self-love. In fact it should always be about loving yourself, especially when it comes to mental and physical health. Change should never be to fit someone else’s ideal. It shouldn’t be about punishing yourself, trying to look like someone else or fitting into a certain size.
Words Have Consequences
This creator advised people to ‘just eat the chocolate bunny’, and ‘it’s just food’. She alluded to her own struggles in the past and her relationship to food. Knowing that made what she said even more confusing for me for a few reasons. Maybe she doesn’t know what I know, and definitely doesn’t know me and my struggles. Obviously she isn’t creating content solely for me, and that advice may work for some people. I’m not so self-absorbed to think that my opinion of her post matters to her in the slightest. Actually, I hope it doesn’t because that would be devastating and detrimental to her brilliant creativity. I love most of her content, she’s truly gifted. But I can’t help the way I feel about this specific topic because it is so close to me.
I’m happy for her that she can look at food that way. But so many of us cannot. Not ever. If I were to follow that advice, it would be the start of a downward spiral and the loss of all I have accomplished over the last 15 months. Not realizing that there are a lot of us who have sugar addiction, carb addiction, food addiction, isn’t her fault. But I am here to completely oppose that advice. DROP THE BUNNY AND STEP AWAY. Don’t do it! It is not worth it. Don’t derail your progress in your healing mission. Now if you can eat the bunny and jump right back on track – BRAVO!! I envy and admire you! It does not undo or negate everything you have done so far. Not in the least! But if it’s going to cause you to spiral, or if there is the slightest chance you’ll feel like garbage physically or awaken that addiction… Just. Don’t. Do. It. It doesn’t mean you don’t love yourself. It’s the opposite! Not putting garbage into your body is not deprivation or loathing. It is honor and love.
When Food Isn’t Just Food
The other problem I have with her statement is that idea that ‘it’s just food’. It’s not. It’s a drug. But even more importantly, it’s not actual food! If there are ingredients you can’t easily identify, then it is not food and not fuel. Why would you do that to yourself? Because it tastes good for a few moments? In the throws of addiction, we don’t think about that. Once you wake up and address your addiction it’s a totally different mindset.
Living in Healthy Healing Harmony
While I’m not where I want to be physically, I don’t hate where I am now. I am proud of my progress and finally living in healthy healing harmony with my body. This is not about changing because I hate myself. Really it’s because I love my life and want to enjoy every minute of it, not being consumed with addiction and ailments. I’m not punishing my body for not being what I want it to be. I’m listening to my body and honoring it as it is. I have a vision and goals, yes. However, I’m confident where I am and that took a LOT of healing. Being confident in your skin at any size is wonderful. Complacency, however, if you are unhealthy is not safe.
Triggered by a TikTok Star
I understand the sentiment, but the words chosen to express that idea were irresponsible in my opinion. If you are not an alcoholic, but have decided to just cut back on drinking and tell others to just go ahead and have the beer, take the shot, indulge and don’t feel guilty, just as a general statement of self love and acceptance completely jeopardizes the wellbeing of those who see that message and are alcoholics. If you would never say those words knowing an alcoholic’s recovery may be hampered by your words, then you must acknowledge that there are other addictions that are just as valid in the effect they have on people as well. I am 100% positive, no harm was meant by her words. They still haunt me. Yep, I’m TRIGGERED. This person whose content I enjoy, who seems so loving and who is using her platform to ensure she is doing all she can to put positivity into the world is not in any way responsible for my weakness.
That self-sabotaging bitch in my head though, she’s trying real hard to justify what she heard.
Stay Focused
So how do you stay focused, or re-focus, when you’re battling that voice in your head? Dive deep, my friend. Immerse yourself in all healing things. Whatever it takes to get yourself right. Read, or listen to helpful and positive topics from AudiobooksNow. Join an online community like The Steak and Butter Gang, where you can connect with others, listen to their struggles and their victories here https://sbg-s-meat-up.mn.co/share/KqFp3vyXjBT6w81T?utm_source=manual. Or feel free to reach out to me here, or on Instagram here https://www.instagram.com/thecandidcarnivore/. I’d be happy to offer support.
Thank you for your support and your time. I hope my content supports and inspires you – and maybe makes you laugh sometimes.
xoxo
~ The Candid Carnivore
I like everything about what you wrote. I like how you acknowledge her comment wasn’t made to harm, and at the same time show how it could do just that. Good analogy to bring it home. I didn’t see the original tik tok but I would ask, ‘why do I allow a certain thing like a chocolate bunny to have that much power over me?’ that it’s even a thing to wrestle over? If a person is wrestling with it, it’s because there’s a part of them that knows it isn’t a good thing-it’s a good time to do a dive into why it’s stimulating us at the moment. I don’t like being manipulated by marketing so that gets my ‘fight’ up. If it’s a throwback to childhood or feeling pampered or cared for, maybe that’s a hint. And, yes, change is often self love- confidently moving through life knowing I’m likely to avoid so many chronic illnesses. I think we have to get our ‘why’s right.
Thank you so much, Lenore! We never have to wrestle with whether or not to eat meat! For me, the fleeting though of giving in to chocolate or some other sugar/carb food is tied to my true addiction to it. The dopamine response, the way it lights up my brain. Then I’m left with the aftermath of trying to stop. AGAIN. Because it is all-consuming, I cannot stop. I will overeat until I literally make myself sick.